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This person sits down in front of you -- WHAT IS YOUR GUT
REACTION/THOUGHT ?????
PITY? DISGUST??? ANGER???????
EXPERT VOICE
I've invited Laura (last name withheld for privacy) to join our discussion on this topic. Her statement is below in blue.
SUMMARY
Obesity is slowly growing in America (pun intended). Per childstats.gov, the number of children age 6-17 between the years of 1976 to 2008 has significantly increased:
1980 5.7%
1994 11.2%
2000 15.0%
2002 16.5%
2004 18.0%
2006 16.5%
2008 19.2%
To refresh our memories, definitions per Merriam-Websters:
obesity: a condition characterized by the excessive accumulation and storage of fat in the body
oppress: a) to crush or burden by abuse of power or authority and b) to burden spiritually or mentally; weigh heavily upon
stereotype: a) something conforming to a fixed or general pattern and b) a standardized mental picture that is held in common by members of a group and that represent an oversimplified opinion or prejudiced attitude
What are the words used to oppress overweight and obese individuals? Any of these sound familiar: fat, fatty, ginormous, lard-a$$, hippo, gross, plump, pudgy, rotund, tubby.....Can you add to the list - one you've been called or found yourself thinking or even saying aloud?
There is no question that obesity affects the health of an individual. Now and far reaching into their future. Under contention is whether obesity has a negative effect on academics,learning, and achieving (Byrd, 2007). For most children, learning, and mental development takes place on a natural time line, but when that time line is hindered or delayed, it's difficult to recover the opportunities of those lost years (Teenageobesity, 2008). This is all valid and important research and should be discussed. However, not here or today. The focus of this discussion is different - the stereotyping of obese adults and children; what it is and how to stop it.
What are the words used to describe overweight and obese? Any of these sound familiar: fat, fatty, ginormous, lard-a$$, hippo, gross, plump, pudgy, rotund, tubby.....can you add to the list? One you've been called yourself - or found yourself thinking, or even saying aloud?
What are the negative characteristics we attribute toward obese people as being: lazy, unattractive, unhappy, unpopular, sloppy?
This discussion is not about the reasons behind obesity or even how to help adults and children lose weight, get in shape, or what type of surgery to have to "fix" their weight. This discussion is about you, me, and our future students. This discussion is to find ways to move beyond the hate ourselves and teach others to do the same.
How can we move forward ourselves and teach others the same? Collect the data - become educated. Understand and recognize the forms of harassment. Understand the hurtful words. Teach ourselves and others that is not OK - ever to oppress and harass, period. Not regarding obese, gay, lesbian, ethniticity, disability, religion, short, tall, or any other characteristic that is different from yourself. Please view this short video clip of an obese women being harassed.
Which person in this clip would you be? The obese person minding your own business? The girls spewing hateful words? The bystander ignoring it all, turning a blind eye, or gawking? How many of us would honestly be the woman that intervenes and stops it? Be honest with yourself. The abuse and harassment doesn't necessarily have to be towards someone obese - it could be against anyone "different" than you.
One way to reduce negative stereotyping of obesity might be to change people's beliefs that obese individuals can control their weight (Oxford Journal, 2000). We must learn and teach others that genetics and metabolism are considered the main causes of obesity. Not laziness....not gluttony.....
Considering that children's stereotyping is so strong and pervasive, and that other factors, such as parental attitudes, children's experience of obesity and school culture may influence stereotyping, it can be expected that successfully reducing stereotyping is a difficult task (Oxford Journal, 2000). But educating ourselves, each other, and our future students is critical - we must address the negative stereotyping. What will you do about it?
*********
How do you envision happiness? Having a nice home, loving spouse and kids, healthy, steady job (or huge trust fund), and a neat trim body. I am pretty close to the money huh? Very few people would say "oh I would be so happy if I my thighs rubbed together until chaffing" or "I would be so happy if I 90% of clothes found in a brick and mortar store don't fit me".
Welcome to my life. My name is Laura and I am considered morbidly obese. Sounds like the I am going to die any second doesn't it? I am 34 year old female that has tried so many things in my quest to loose weight. Adkins, Weight Watcher, Jenny Craig, Fitness Boot Camps, Crossfit, The Zone, Low Gluten. I have tried most of the popular things in one form or the other. I have not tried medications or extreme diets like the 500 calorie a day HCG diets, since I think these do more harm than good to a body. How could I be 'happy' since the country's (the world?) vision of happiness doesn't have room for roly-poly gal like me. I have had people avert their eyes when I walk down the aisle of an airplane, thinking if they just don't look at me I won't sit next to them. I have seen people's faces when I go to a pool and take off my cover-up. I see it all, and it hurts.
I have PolyCycstic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). This, my doctors and I feel, is the main causation of my weight and ultimately my infertility.
My weight is a constant albatross around my neck- or waist as the case may have it. "Just exercise" people say. I have done it. I am now at the point in my life where I am just being healthy and not focusing on an actual number. My doctor says I am healthy as a horse despite my weight, and that she wishes all of her patients could be a seemingly healthy on paper as I am. My total cholesterol is 150, with my "good" cholesterol actually HIGHER than my "bad". My blood sugar is perfect. My blood pressure is great. Yet, when people look at me they must think I am a medical mess. A drain on the health care system. In fact, the only drain my weight(and PCOS) causes is one to my bank account since I pay for my fertility treatments all out of pocket.
I wish I could change my body. I wish I could change the misconception that I "just don't try hard enough" or that I "must not care". I think a huge thing to help with this would be helping youth develop strong positive body images in addition to healthy choices.
Thank you for allowing me to contribute the lesson, and I hope to answer any questions the best I can.
Laura
Q&A
How long have you had PCOS?
I was officially diagnosed in 2009. Looking back I had the symptoms since early college, which was mid 90s.
Is this something you are born with? Depends on who you talk to. Some believe it to be genetic, but it there is no gene defined for it. The insulin resistance aspect of it appears to have hereditary traits, but hasn't been proven. To know if I was born this way, or if something triggered it in early adulthood is hard to prove.
What were your struggles in school? I didn't struggle in high school, but i did in college. I know that is a little different, but college kids are still kids playing adult until they somehow wake up and realize they are one. The main struggles I had in college were social. When other girls were finding their sexuality, it seems I was wearing baggy pants and not wanting to be noticed. I guess most parents would think this is a good thing though.:) I didn't want to take part in a lot of extra activities because I felt judged for the weight I carried. I NEVER tried any intramural sports, but I am sure I would have done fine now that I look back.
How did you cope through school? I think the thing that helped me the most in school were my friends and a wonderful mother. My friends really helped to keep me out and active. They were understanding of my not wanting to be over social. Did your teachers support you, or did you feel alone? In college teachers really just don't care as long as you get your assignments done, tests taken, and not take up too much time. In college you are expected to be adults- even if you aren't emotionally one yet.
What could your teachers have done to make your school experience better? Since I was in college when the main weight gain started for me, I really don't know what they could have done. If it was in high school, I suppose advocating for tables with separate chairs, I do remember the high school all in one desks being a pretty tight fit. As far as college- just basic encouragement that goes for all students,. Honestly I just don't know. Was there something a teacher did to have a positive impact on your school experience? Not particularly.
What kind of classroom lessons can we create to teach our future students about these issues w/o waiting on a Phys Ed teacher or school nurse to do it for us? Or is it our responsibility to??? Do you mean for any subject? Perhaps if it is a science class, be sure and educate about medical issues that may cause obesity. I can imagine it would be hard since you have a structured lesson plan you have to follow. I think a lot of it would be to lead by example. Treat students (all) with respect, and try not to single anyone out- yet isn't that what you are trying to do anyways?
For a food addict, do you think eating in moderation is as difficult? Addiction is addiction. I would think doing whatever you are addicted to in moderation is hard. I know there are some people that seem to have it under control, but I think that they are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Same with their loved ones. Is there an alcoholic out there that can pick up a bottle of wine without their families drawing a fearful breath and watching out of the corner of their eyes? I think it is the same for food addicts, yet it is more "socially" acceptable. When was the last time someone committed a crime because of food addiction?
What are your thoughts on PE classes? Helpful to overweight students or humiliating? My thoughts are they they are humiliating. First you have to 'dress out' in a shared locker room. An overweight person has to either bare their bodies in front of them, or go to a separate room to disrobe privately. I think either way they get "made fun of". Honestly I don't know how to remedy this part- other than have personal dressing rooms made with curtains, etc. The actual class I think could be made better if it was structured physical activity, and try and see WHAT would be fun/interesting to those that are overweight. I think one student mentioned lifestyle recreation and that is a wonderful idea. This also helps a young student to learn more of the world, and discover they might be great at something.
Thank you for visiting my wiki and have a discussion with my expert voice. I hope you can take away data you didn't previously have and use it in your future classrooms and personal lives. Feed free to use anything and everything here. If you do, I'd love to hear how it went for you!
Good point -- schools really to put a stop to harassment in elem. school and junior high. By high school - kids aren't going to change their opinion until adult hood and the pre-frontal cortex is fully developed.
True. I think by the time youths are in high school, they have strong holds on their opinions. They DO resist change, and get defensive if you try to get them to change it. This is part of their blossoming identity. Yet, they are still learning that their actions have consequences- no matter what their peers are doing.
Oh my gosh - can you imagine the the earth if obesity is the norm???? My expert voice found a wonderful article she'll be sharing that says doctors should not be telling people to loose weight b/c it will only back fire and make their weight worse -- but they should be telling people to make healthy choices for their body. I'm not sure I agree....look at humans 100 years ago......there are few photos, granted - however, those photos rarely show anyone overweight, let alone obese!
But Miss Denise - you should feel SORRY for them - after all, my research shows that genetics and metabolism are the reason for obesity..........so you are truely blessed with a high metabolism AND good jeans (whoops, genes : ). It's hard for sure to see people struggling with weight issues and complaining about it ANNNNDDDD walking into the lunch room with the awful food or see them at a buffet for an hour. I feel for people that have issues - I do believe it does effect some people - but not all. I'm no health expert nor an fitness guru.....!
I can attest myself that being overweight causes energy problems and discomfort in clothes. In sports, I never trusted the obese performers because they could lull you into a false sense of security or superiority. In basketball then were the hardest to cover. I grew up watching Sonny Jurgensen throw long touchdown passes for the Washington Redskins, and Wes Unseld grab a rebound and flip it the distance of the court. I think we need a major push in schools to alert students that in the real work world they cannot do everything themselves and so it is a big advantage to have access to people as resources of different perspectives and ways of looking at a problem that needs solving. Maybe we need to push cooperative community more than individual competition and yet not lose a sense of individual responsibility, value, worth. I would think that would inform the creation of our class learning communities. I love our cohort here because of the range of diverse talents. experiences, disciplines, and stories.
What kind of obsese performer lulled you into a false sense of security or superiority -- are you talking sports or music or acting???
Would cooperative community learning work to combat the marginalization of obese individuals? My brain isn't up to Zuckisms right now....help me out! :)
I can see what you mean David. I remember William "The Fridge" Perry. Who would think he could do much being as large as he is? Or Jerome Bettis? How in the world could he move through a defense like he does and gain so many yards? Obviously these are two that use their size to their benefit physically.
Who hasn't heard the term "Never trust a skinny cook"?
My Dad had a mean hook shot he could shoot with either hand, couldn't cover the dude. I also have a vivid memory of showing up at a park cocky in one of the few years where I was thin (I yoyo), and got schooled in a one-on-one game by a heavy got I thought I would dominate. It was that he pushed me around, it was that he knew how to get his space and I couldn't get to his shot. And he shot lights out. I then let my emotions blink, and it was over. He beat me three straight before I quit. Now I work on my hook shots a lot too, with both hands. My Dad has been fighting diabetes so he's thinner, and a darn Duke fan to boot (Go Terps! Fear the Turtle!).
Agreed, not being wanted at times is worse than being teased. I think this is because there is a specific thing you can pin point that you were not wanted for.
I would have said something, if only because I knew I could take those girls if push came to shove. Having extra weight is good for something you know? If it was three huge men I would probably call the police. No questions about it- that makes it even more scary to see. Then you have to worry about not only simple bullying, but a sexual assault.
Agreed. There is an addictive component to food for some people. It is a source of comfort. When you have a bad day- what does Mommy do? Make your favorite cookies. It is your birthday? You get whatever you want. Most all holidays are associated with a dinner of some sort. So if you feel blue- what to do? Turn to food...yet, then the cycle starts all over again.
I certainly see your point. Food can be comforting. As for addiction, food is like no other. You can't quit cold turkey. you always have to be moderate. As a smoker/non-smoker who has been struggling with this addiction, I can attest it is so hard (even impossible) to smoke in moderation. It's all or nothing. For a food addict, do you think eating in moderation is as difficult?
Wow.. a lot of stuff to digest here!! Ok, I will be completely honest, my first reaction to your picture was to be disgusted and shake my head. Typically if a person is severely overweight, my first thought is to think, "How in the world did you let yourself get this big? Why didn't anyone intervene? Why didn't you care enough about yourself to make some life changes before you got to this point? I hope I never 'let myself go' like that!" but I would never ever tease/taunt/make fun of someone because of their weight. When I watched the video, I thought for sure I would be the woman that intervenes. I think the reason is partially because I'm a teacher and partially because I'm a loud-mouth. :) There's NO way I could stand by and watch some teenagers act like that. But for some reason, if I think about the different combinations of people that could have been in that scenario, I think I would have been more hesitant to intervene if it was adults that were being mean.. I don't know why that is!
Now, after I read your authentic voice's statement, I feel terrible. I feel terrible for judging anyone about 'letting themselves' get fat if there is a genetic condition behind the weight gain. But, how do you know? Some people are morbidly obese because they had terrible eating habits and never exercised.
Is that why it's ok to scorn someone for being a smoker but not for being fat? Because being fat might not be their choice?
I don't think twice about telling people that I know that they shouldn't smoke/chew tobacco. But I don't tell my 'fat' friends not to have that candy bar or bag of chips or that they should get to the gym, because that would be offensive. Why is that??
I don't know Erika why it is OK for us to tell our friends or loved ones they shouldn't smoke but we don't ever say to a rolly-polly gal she should get up and MOVE. I am guilty as well (even today) of seeing an obese person and wondering why they don't change their habits. It is still hard to accept and understand that some obesity is not a result of bad choices. I believe Dr. B. said obese are the second most marginalized group - I had no idea!
Btw, I think this "sting" operation stuff that I have now seen on a few Wikis is telling. I want to say that we are so busy trying to keep up with our own demands (selfish? Or society?) that when we see something like this we actually do have to do the math and say, do we need to get involved in this drama because we have our own, and we are really at the beach or in the coffee shop to escape this drama for a moment. I find it interesting that the people who do step up seem to be more balanced on appearance. Yes, I'm speculating but I'm waiting for that episode where the super serious successful and busy business person calls them on the discrimination instead.
OK, now I'm starting to recall heavy "winner" media types, time to go. My post is crumbling.
Chris Farley was one of many comedians that self-deprecate themselves ..... a form of self-defense that I find sad. I've laughed at his and others jokes, yes, but also felt bad for him at the same time. I have many flaws, as does everyone, but do not have it in me to self-deprecate myself in order to deflect hurt......
How did you feel when your 13-year old client said she was excited to be able to find fashion for fat people now????? I think I would have been a little sad......
I thing self-deprecation is very common especially in comedians. Another student wrote about the comedian that has cerebral palsy and uses that in his routine. He is hysterical- I have actually had the pleasure of seeing a show of his several years ago. The sad thing about Chris Farley was that his particular method of coping was NOT working..it didn't work. He obviously self medicated with various drugs and alcohol that led to his death. How do we know when the self-deprecation is benign, and when to recognize that it may be a harbinger for something for troublesome?
Perception. I didn't feel sad for her because of how excited she was and how I knew that was increasing her self confidence and happiness. If those clothes make her feel a little less left out and be able to walk taller with pride in who she was and at the size she is, then more power to her. She is taking control and owning herself.
Good point - but it doesn't show the offender that their behavior is wrong in the eyes of the community -- law enforcement unfortunately isn't much of a deterrent to gangsters.....although I suppose a short red-headed teacher wouldn't be either!
I agree - hard to know for sure what we would individually do...... Hopefully as educators we can teach students that it is NOT OK to harass others and scenarios such as this (even if this one was staged) won't happen. As parents we teach our kids right from wrong......but all know or see parents who are not. Educators MUST!
I wonder if there could ever be a situation where something like that was staged at a school? Guess not, for legal reasons...but it would be interesting to see how kids reacted.
You're very welcome. I have learned a lot researching this topic and am sure it is just the tip of the iceberg! Collecting all the data and passing it on to our future students (and own children) is so important. On another note: I think all future parents should have to take this class!
How long have you had PCOS? Is this something you are born with? What were your struggles in school? Did your teachers support you, or did you feel alone?
Hi Laura,
Thank you for being part of this discussion. I am so happy to hear that you are healthy! And yes, from the outside, being obese doesn't allow the rest of the world to know your story or how healthy you actually are. We all know that school can be damaging on self-esteem and self-confidence when you aren't like everyone else. How did you cope through school?
Thank you! As my luck would have it, I caught a nasty stomach bug while in vacation last week in the Bahamas. :)
I am answering all these quesions to put in the wiki...
Hi Laura.
Thank you for sharing your story. What could your teachers have done to make your school experience better? Was there something a teacher did to have a positive impact on your school experience?
ALL: What kind of classroom lessons can we create to teach our future students about these issues w/o waiting on a Phy Ed teacher or school nurse to do it for us? Or is it our responsibility to???
I had biases when I was younger too. My dad's bothered me and I thought he worked too hard when maybe he should be working out more, meaning play. Maturing a bit slowly changed my views though I still get mad at myself for my weight issues. I'm attracted now to people who have that glowing energy, usually a killer smile too or manner of dealing with adversity, and I have found quite a few of these people that I am noticing are heavy. But I don't really know anybody who is 400+ lbs heavy. Maybe I just have a "not marginalized in that way" privilege at work though.
Thank you Laura, your story gives me lots to think about. In dealing with this issue, is this a case of people should probably visit a doctor too so that they can not beat themselves up so much about the dieting and exercise? I am seeing that as a common thread on many of the Wikis here. People just want to know, so they can move on with their life. Almost like not knowing gives fuel for bullying fire and we start to ask "Maybe they are right." I'm gonna ask my doctor some questions now.
YES!!!!!! I am always an advocate to get checkups and work ups. I think we do a great job of making sure our school age (grade school and younger) kids get checkups, but once they become preteens and teens we forget about it. How many adults honestly take their 14 year old in for a check up other than the 12 yo shots and again at 18 for MMR booster?
I think having a doctor and a person outside of 'regular' everyday life would be great for a youth to talk to about it. ALSO, you could get a diagnosis if needed and not just "you are fat and lazy"
Luckily for me I had wonderful friends! I think that I didn't date as much as I would have if I felt more comfortable in my own skin, but I suppose that could be viewed as a good thing.
Hi Hayley,
It can be humiliating to most. However, hopefully PE teachers are getting beyond sport play and more into lifestyle recreation - things that can be done at all ages and at all weights - golf, archery, sledding, snow shoeing, walking, bowling - things that show progression for each person at an individual pace.
Your topic is timely and will become more and more important. I feel incredible empathy for Laura because my daughter suffers from PCOS and it has been such a struggle over the years. Laura's testimony was very powerful and will hopefully enlighten many people and change what they think when they see some one like the picture you launched with ( and what a snapper it was!).
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Comments (Show all 60)
Elizabeth Murray said
at 7:36 pm on Apr 7, 2011
Good point -- schools really to put a stop to harassment in elem. school and junior high. By high school - kids aren't going to change their opinion until adult hood and the pre-frontal cortex is fully developed.
Laura said
at 12:30 pm on Apr 12, 2011
True. I think by the time youths are in high school, they have strong holds on their opinions. They DO resist change, and get defensive if you try to get them to change it. This is part of their blossoming identity. Yet, they are still learning that their actions have consequences- no matter what their peers are doing.
Elizabeth Murray said
at 7:39 pm on Apr 7, 2011
Oh my gosh - can you imagine the the earth if obesity is the norm???? My expert voice found a wonderful article she'll be sharing that says doctors should not be telling people to loose weight b/c it will only back fire and make their weight worse -- but they should be telling people to make healthy choices for their body. I'm not sure I agree....look at humans 100 years ago......there are few photos, granted - however, those photos rarely show anyone overweight, let alone obese!
Elizabeth Murray said
at 7:50 pm on Apr 7, 2011
But Miss Denise - you should feel SORRY for them - after all, my research shows that genetics and metabolism are the reason for obesity..........so you are truely blessed with a high metabolism AND good jeans (whoops, genes : ). It's hard for sure to see people struggling with weight issues and complaining about it ANNNNDDDD walking into the lunch room with the awful food or see them at a buffet for an hour. I feel for people that have issues - I do believe it does effect some people - but not all. I'm no health expert nor an fitness guru.....!
David L Zuck said
at 9:57 pm on Apr 7, 2011
I can attest myself that being overweight causes energy problems and discomfort in clothes. In sports, I never trusted the obese performers because they could lull you into a false sense of security or superiority. In basketball then were the hardest to cover. I grew up watching Sonny Jurgensen throw long touchdown passes for the Washington Redskins, and Wes Unseld grab a rebound and flip it the distance of the court. I think we need a major push in schools to alert students that in the real work world they cannot do everything themselves and so it is a big advantage to have access to people as resources of different perspectives and ways of looking at a problem that needs solving. Maybe we need to push cooperative community more than individual competition and yet not lose a sense of individual responsibility, value, worth. I would think that would inform the creation of our class learning communities. I love our cohort here because of the range of diverse talents. experiences, disciplines, and stories.
Elizabeth Murray said
at 8:28 pm on Apr 10, 2011
What kind of obsese performer lulled you into a false sense of security or superiority -- are you talking sports or music or acting???
Would cooperative community learning work to combat the marginalization of obese individuals? My brain isn't up to Zuckisms right now....help me out! :)
Laura said
at 12:34 pm on Apr 12, 2011
I can see what you mean David. I remember William "The Fridge" Perry. Who would think he could do much being as large as he is? Or Jerome Bettis? How in the world could he move through a defense like he does and gain so many yards? Obviously these are two that use their size to their benefit physically.
Who hasn't heard the term "Never trust a skinny cook"?
David L Zuck said
at 8:04 pm on Apr 16, 2011
My Dad had a mean hook shot he could shoot with either hand, couldn't cover the dude. I also have a vivid memory of showing up at a park cocky in one of the few years where I was thin (I yoyo), and got schooled in a one-on-one game by a heavy got I thought I would dominate. It was that he pushed me around, it was that he knew how to get his space and I couldn't get to his shot. And he shot lights out. I then let my emotions blink, and it was over. He beat me three straight before I quit. Now I work on my hook shots a lot too, with both hands. My Dad has been fighting diabetes so he's thinner, and a darn Duke fan to boot (Go Terps! Fear the Turtle!).
Laura said
at 9:34 pm on Apr 9, 2011
Agreed, not being wanted at times is worse than being teased. I think this is because there is a specific thing you can pin point that you were not wanted for.
Laura said
at 9:37 pm on Apr 9, 2011
I would have said something, if only because I knew I could take those girls if push came to shove. Having extra weight is good for something you know? If it was three huge men I would probably call the police. No questions about it- that makes it even more scary to see. Then you have to worry about not only simple bullying, but a sexual assault.
Laura said
at 9:42 pm on Apr 9, 2011
Agreed. There is an addictive component to food for some people. It is a source of comfort. When you have a bad day- what does Mommy do? Make your favorite cookies. It is your birthday? You get whatever you want. Most all holidays are associated with a dinner of some sort. So if you feel blue- what to do? Turn to food...yet, then the cycle starts all over again.
Anna O'Neil said
at 12:18 pm on Apr 19, 2011
I certainly see your point. Food can be comforting. As for addiction, food is like no other. You can't quit cold turkey. you always have to be moderate. As a smoker/non-smoker who has been struggling with this addiction, I can attest it is so hard (even impossible) to smoke in moderation. It's all or nothing. For a food addict, do you think eating in moderation is as difficult?
Erika Westby said
at 3:31 pm on Apr 10, 2011
Wow.. a lot of stuff to digest here!! Ok, I will be completely honest, my first reaction to your picture was to be disgusted and shake my head. Typically if a person is severely overweight, my first thought is to think, "How in the world did you let yourself get this big? Why didn't anyone intervene? Why didn't you care enough about yourself to make some life changes before you got to this point? I hope I never 'let myself go' like that!" but I would never ever tease/taunt/make fun of someone because of their weight. When I watched the video, I thought for sure I would be the woman that intervenes. I think the reason is partially because I'm a teacher and partially because I'm a loud-mouth. :) There's NO way I could stand by and watch some teenagers act like that. But for some reason, if I think about the different combinations of people that could have been in that scenario, I think I would have been more hesitant to intervene if it was adults that were being mean.. I don't know why that is!
Now, after I read your authentic voice's statement, I feel terrible. I feel terrible for judging anyone about 'letting themselves' get fat if there is a genetic condition behind the weight gain. But, how do you know? Some people are morbidly obese because they had terrible eating habits and never exercised.
Is that why it's ok to scorn someone for being a smoker but not for being fat? Because being fat might not be their choice?
I don't think twice about telling people that I know that they shouldn't smoke/chew tobacco. But I don't tell my 'fat' friends not to have that candy bar or bag of chips or that they should get to the gym, because that would be offensive. Why is that??
Elizabeth Murray said
at 8:19 pm on Apr 10, 2011
I don't know Erika why it is OK for us to tell our friends or loved ones they shouldn't smoke but we don't ever say to a rolly-polly gal she should get up and MOVE. I am guilty as well (even today) of seeing an obese person and wondering why they don't change their habits. It is still hard to accept and understand that some obesity is not a result of bad choices. I believe Dr. B. said obese are the second most marginalized group - I had no idea!
David L Zuck said
at 8:16 pm on Apr 16, 2011
Do we see any media "winners" that are heavy?
Btw, I think this "sting" operation stuff that I have now seen on a few Wikis is telling. I want to say that we are so busy trying to keep up with our own demands (selfish? Or society?) that when we see something like this we actually do have to do the math and say, do we need to get involved in this drama because we have our own, and we are really at the beach or in the coffee shop to escape this drama for a moment. I find it interesting that the people who do step up seem to be more balanced on appearance. Yes, I'm speculating but I'm waiting for that episode where the super serious successful and busy business person calls them on the discrimination instead.
OK, now I'm starting to recall heavy "winner" media types, time to go. My post is crumbling.
Elizabeth Murray said
at 8:24 pm on Apr 10, 2011
Chris Farley was one of many comedians that self-deprecate themselves ..... a form of self-defense that I find sad. I've laughed at his and others jokes, yes, but also felt bad for him at the same time. I have many flaws, as does everyone, but do not have it in me to self-deprecate myself in order to deflect hurt......
How did you feel when your 13-year old client said she was excited to be able to find fashion for fat people now????? I think I would have been a little sad......
Zach Johnson said
at 7:02 pm on Apr 11, 2011
Don't you think self-deprecation is really common among marginalized groups as a method to cope? I don't necessarily think it's harmful.
Laura said
at 12:21 pm on Apr 12, 2011
I thing self-deprecation is very common especially in comedians. Another student wrote about the comedian that has cerebral palsy and uses that in his routine. He is hysterical- I have actually had the pleasure of seeing a show of his several years ago. The sad thing about Chris Farley was that his particular method of coping was NOT working..it didn't work. He obviously self medicated with various drugs and alcohol that led to his death. How do we know when the self-deprecation is benign, and when to recognize that it may be a harbinger for something for troublesome?
Jaime Goulet said
at 7:32 am on Apr 16, 2011
Perception. I didn't feel sad for her because of how excited she was and how I knew that was increasing her self confidence and happiness. If those clothes make her feel a little less left out and be able to walk taller with pride in who she was and at the size she is, then more power to her. She is taking control and owning herself.
Elizabeth Murray said
at 8:30 pm on Apr 10, 2011
Good point - but it doesn't show the offender that their behavior is wrong in the eyes of the community -- law enforcement unfortunately isn't much of a deterrent to gangsters.....although I suppose a short red-headed teacher wouldn't be either!
Elizabeth Murray said
at 8:32 pm on Apr 10, 2011
I agree - hard to know for sure what we would individually do...... Hopefully as educators we can teach students that it is NOT OK to harass others and scenarios such as this (even if this one was staged) won't happen. As parents we teach our kids right from wrong......but all know or see parents who are not. Educators MUST!
Laura said
at 12:25 pm on Apr 12, 2011
I wonder if there could ever be a situation where something like that was staged at a school? Guess not, for legal reasons...but it would be interesting to see how kids reacted.
Elizabeth Murray said
at 8:34 pm on Apr 10, 2011
You're very welcome. I have learned a lot researching this topic and am sure it is just the tip of the iceberg! Collecting all the data and passing it on to our future students (and own children) is so important. On another note: I think all future parents should have to take this class!
David L Zuck said
at 8:23 pm on Apr 16, 2011
I'm gonna have to watch Supersize Me now. It's on my list.
kevin.engel@... said
at 8:51 pm on Apr 15, 2011
How long have you had PCOS? Is this something you are born with? What were your struggles in school? Did your teachers support you, or did you feel alone?
Jaime Goulet said
at 7:30 am on Apr 16, 2011
Hi Laura,
Thank you for being part of this discussion. I am so happy to hear that you are healthy! And yes, from the outside, being obese doesn't allow the rest of the world to know your story or how healthy you actually are. We all know that school can be damaging on self-esteem and self-confidence when you aren't like everyone else. How did you cope through school?
Laura said
at 5:33 pm on Apr 23, 2011
Thank you! As my luck would have it, I caught a nasty stomach bug while in vacation last week in the Bahamas. :)
I am answering all these quesions to put in the wiki...
Abby Larson said
at 10:18 am on Apr 16, 2011
Hi Laura.
Thank you for sharing your story. What could your teachers have done to make your school experience better? Was there something a teacher did to have a positive impact on your school experience?
Elizabeth Murray said
at 1:57 pm on Apr 16, 2011
LAURA: Can you add a link to that web site that have the report about obesity being the result of other issues? I can't find it again......Beth
Elizabeth Murray said
at 1:59 pm on Apr 16, 2011
ALL: What kind of classroom lessons can we create to teach our future students about these issues w/o waiting on a Phy Ed teacher or school nurse to do it for us? Or is it our responsibility to???
Hayley Lonnquist said
at 12:00 am on Apr 19, 2011
Would the lesson be targeting all students about acceptance or are you looking for lessons about health and self confidence?
David L Zuck said
at 8:22 pm on Apr 16, 2011
I had biases when I was younger too. My dad's bothered me and I thought he worked too hard when maybe he should be working out more, meaning play. Maturing a bit slowly changed my views though I still get mad at myself for my weight issues. I'm attracted now to people who have that glowing energy, usually a killer smile too or manner of dealing with adversity, and I have found quite a few of these people that I am noticing are heavy. But I don't really know anybody who is 400+ lbs heavy. Maybe I just have a "not marginalized in that way" privilege at work though.
Laura said
at 5:31 pm on Apr 23, 2011
That is a sweet statement.
David L Zuck said
at 8:28 pm on Apr 16, 2011
Thank you Laura, your story gives me lots to think about. In dealing with this issue, is this a case of people should probably visit a doctor too so that they can not beat themselves up so much about the dieting and exercise? I am seeing that as a common thread on many of the Wikis here. People just want to know, so they can move on with their life. Almost like not knowing gives fuel for bullying fire and we start to ask "Maybe they are right." I'm gonna ask my doctor some questions now.
Laura said
at 5:37 pm on Apr 23, 2011
YES!!!!!! I am always an advocate to get checkups and work ups. I think we do a great job of making sure our school age (grade school and younger) kids get checkups, but once they become preteens and teens we forget about it. How many adults honestly take their 14 year old in for a check up other than the 12 yo shots and again at 18 for MMR booster?
I think having a doctor and a person outside of 'regular' everyday life would be great for a youth to talk to about it. ALSO, you could get a diagnosis if needed and not just "you are fat and lazy"
Marissa said
at 9:34 am on Apr 17, 2011
Laura-Thanks for sharing! How did being overweight affect relationships (with friends) in school? Did teachers ever treat you differently?
Laura said
at 5:38 pm on Apr 23, 2011
Luckily for me I had wonderful friends! I think that I didn't date as much as I would have if I felt more comfortable in my own skin, but I suppose that could be viewed as a good thing.
Hayley Lonnquist said
at 12:08 am on Apr 19, 2011
What are your thoughts on PE classes? Helpful to overweight students or humiliating?
Jaime Goulet said
at 3:34 pm on Apr 19, 2011
Hi Hayley,
It can be humiliating to most. However, hopefully PE teachers are getting beyond sport play and more into lifestyle recreation - things that can be done at all ages and at all weights - golf, archery, sledding, snow shoeing, walking, bowling - things that show progression for each person at an individual pace.
Barbara Bridges said
at 2:57 pm on Apr 28, 2011
Your topic is timely and will become more and more important. I feel incredible empathy for Laura because my daughter suffers from PCOS and it has been such a struggle over the years. Laura's testimony was very powerful and will hopefully enlighten many people and change what they think when they see some one like the picture you launched with ( and what a snapper it was!).
You met all the criteria:
1. Research your topic. 5 refs-2 hard copy 25 points
2. Synthesize 200-400 words 25 points
3. Respond to peers. 25 points
4. Introductory statement from guest. Attend 25 points
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